It Is What It Is

I used to really hate that phrase.  Somehow it seemed like giving up, like rolling over and accepting that things are just how they were and you couldn't change things.  Tough stuff for a "fixer" like me.  I always want the power to make things all better.

But the older I get, the more things I deal with in life, the more I realize that truly, things are the way they are sometimes.  It's not rolling over and playing dead to accept and adapt when things happen that aren't the ideal.  It's also counterproductive and seems to block learning the lessons that may come from certain events in my life when I want to put blinders on, become frustrated that there's something that I can't fix or change and fret about what might occur in the future.  I'm working on accepting and embracing my life situations and trying oh-so-hard to align my will with God's.

Rowdy is in the hospital for the second time this year with a small bowel obstruction.  He's on two strong medications for Crohn's, but somehow they haven't kept him from having a severe enough flare to put him in the hospital.  Usually, I'm tearful and terrified at the prospect of him possibly having to have surgery and want so badly to know what to do to make it all better.

This time, I just feel more resigned.  He'll sit in the hospital for a week.  He'll have nothing to eat for days.  He'll be on IV steroids and pain meds.  We'll see what happens and take it day by day.

These hospitalizations have been strengthening my testimony of the Savior, his role as a healer, and that the most important healing isn't physical.

I've also learned that the Holy Ghost does bring peace, and that I shouldn't assume that that feeling of peace means that Rowdy will be 100% better right away.  Maybe he will have to have surgery.  Maybe our plans for our trip might not go off exactly the way we planned.  It doesn't matter.  We can handle whatever happens and still be happy, optimistic, and at peace.