A young man of my acquaintance was found earlier this year to have poor eyesight. It was the old story--he was a lackluster student, but (part of) his problem was undiagnosed vision problems. So, he got glasses. And he promptly decided that he didn't want to wear them. Maybe he thought he looked uncool. (Actually, he looked very good in them.)
So, his grades continue to be in the basement, and he has to go to summer school for yet another year. His custodial parents have grounded him from everything they can think of to punish him for not wearing his glasses. The Block From Which He Was Chipped wants just to give him an old-fashioned whupping. Nothing seems to help him want to wear his glasses and/or try harder in school.
He wants to be in the FBI someday. We have gone to the FBI website with him and discussed the prerequisites for employment there. Barely graduating from high school is not one of them. He may say to us, "I don't care. I'll just join the military." Well, if he does that, he'll get an eye exam. They'll definitely make him wear glasses, and they'll make him wear those clunky, black-framed ones. Talk about looking geeky!
You parents out there, including those of you who once were 14-year-old boys--any ideas about how we can help this kid 1) wear his glasses and 2) work to his potential? Silly Witch, I know that you've recently read a book about helping your kids reach their potential. And what does the Love and Logic program say about it? I hate seeing this sweet kid flounder and have such a tense relationship with his parents and siblings because of his stubborness.
7 comments:
Are contacts an option?
He has to wear his glasses for a year before he can have contacts, according to the optometrist.
Frankly, I doubt he's responsible enough to have contacts right now.
Hmmmmmmm. I've never had to deal with a fourteen year old boy before. I'll be asking YOU for advice in about 10 years or so.
And if there is one thing I'm learning about youth from serving in YW is that you can't make them do anything. And they are not terribly logical unless they want to be. So I'll pray (just like I do for a particular young woman in my ward) for this "certain" young man and you pray and love and encourage him intensely and watch him create his own life.
SW, I was watching Sis. Parkin on BYUTV as I reading your message. She was talking about another 14-year-old boy who told his mother, "I have learned for myself...." How I want my own 14yo to do the same. His brother has made some great changes in the last two years. Hopefully, M will too. We pray for all three of our kids so fervently.
I think there is a fear beyond the judgement of his peers... about what the expectations will be now that he is "capable" of greatness. it's been easy to not be great, he's had an excuse and now he has to give it up... let's clear it!
I know you guys love your kids. I'm sure you're getting through to him more than you even know. You prayers will not go unanswered.
as a former geek myself, you know what always made me come around was peer influence. Maybe dig up all the cool photos of Johnny Depp, Russel Crow (you know, all the studs) where they are wearing THEIR glasses. And just happen to have them laying on the table. Or just say "here ya go. It's the latest trend! Didn
't ya know?" heehee. Good Luck, Di! p.s. I was the personality type (I guess I still am) where the more someone pushed, the MORE I resisted and rebelled. So Perhaps the pics, reiterate the FBI requirements, then end of story. No more from the parents. Try it for a week or two?
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